It has been awhile of not posting because I do not want to be reminded of anything that I wrote previously so ya. So many things happened during this 3 months. Recently my friend lost her fiance 2 weeks before the wedding because he had committed suicide 1 day before her birthday. WTF. This usually don't happened in reality but now it did and whats worse is that my friend is 3 months pregnant. My friend with her strong character looks like she is able to handle it but not really. Until now, she still couldn't figure out why he hung himself without leaving any last words or having any symptoms or warnings before that. mostly likely is depression. I really pray that God will be with her and give her peace, show me how I can help her get through this, speak to her with Godly wisdom and hope that I can bring her comfort too. If it's me, I will probably just want to kill myself man. This is took hard for me to handle. This thing made me realised how emotions and feelings can really cause a person to die by taking their own lives. I realised how lucky I am to have God in my life even though I disobeyed Him again and again. Making myself busy doesn't really help in my current progression, it just made me stopped thinking about it. Yesterday's altar call just reminded me of whatever that I am hiding and putting it aside.
Sometimes the good memories are things that I really missed but there are times when bitterness just got into me and knowing that he escaped this weird lg, him leaving instead of me just makes me feel angry. I am trying my best to be vulnerable, be open to this lg and what I got is weird and insensitive questions, weird concerns. Many communication but no connection man, just makes me more angry and not wanting to talk to them. They are the really difficult people in my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment