im back complaining.
i should be studying for my PEL and unitop test
but i cant.
i thought of PED individual report,
my life will get better.
in fact, it's the opposite.
for me, no problems can be as tough as relationship problems.
family and him.
my grandparents are going to move in
soon and my house is not packed.
my mom and dad are going crazy because of this.
seeing them fight and quarrel can make me feel miserable already.
quarrelling with him is also another problem.
a problem that can make me think about it until i go crazy.
so crazy that i wish to just end my life asap.

i think im crazy, seriously.
my first priority now should be my studies.
this semester is a very important semester
but im not coping well due to all these.
my mind is all about him, so much that i cant concentrate during lesson.
crying is like a routine thing for me for the past few days maybe weeks.
it's my fault.
i took it for granted, expecting more when we are so busy now
with our homework, making a big fuss out of something,
crying over small matters and sometimes for nothing.
am i in depression? omg.
i feel so lifeless, so tired.
faking a smile at my friends is really tiring.
why am i becoming like this?
sigh.
i left with like less than a month and i am done with this semester.
why do i wanna torture myself like that?
what am i doing?
am i crazy? yes i am crazy now, not going to be crazy.
i really hate myself for becoming like this.