i know i shouldnt be blogging this hour but i just need to vent
all my stress and sadness.
i think i've been crying for the past few days.
i dont know why, i tend to start crying over little things nowadays.
i'm so damn stress for the past few days.
thanks to BQC, 1 test, 3 reports, 2 assignments, all within this week.
i need to finish my 8 credit module report by next week.
once i heard about the PCON test from chapter 1 to 13,
i nearly feel like crying, seriously.
omg, im really going crazy.
furthermore, i working. how?
i have no one to blame, only myself.
u know sometimes, i just feel like dying, hoping some random
car will just knock me down or
some accidents will just happen to me and take away my life so that
it can end my agony and leave this world.
my dad just scolded me, saying im useless,
which is really very sad for me
now, he wants to take my phone for repair.
i pray that he wont find out that i lost the phone before. D:
or else, im going to be in deep shit.
furthermore, im sick during these few days.
it was really tough for me to concentrate in lessons when
i felt like sleeping all the time.
i think i need a quote or a phrase to keep reminding myself not to
depend on others so much because im not a child anymore.
i need to constantly remind myself that sometimes, not everyone will be there for me
whenever im sad or need help.
dont say everyone, not even one will be there for me.
what if this happens? i have no choice but to be strong, and dont keep crying
and crying. keep crying wont solve the problem.
cry once and stop, dont continue crying anymore.
sometimes, people see me laugh n smile all the time thought that im always joyful.
in fact, im just trying to cover up my real feelings, to prevent
it from bringing people down.
by doing these, i wont at least feel sad all the time.

God, give me strength and hope to let me carry on my life. Amen