What is gonna happened?

Today i met pr and regina to talk about the next step that i gonna do regarding my relationship with yx. It was really a hard decision to make because it is something that i've been struggling to face it ever since we are together. Breaking up is like the best decision for both of us. I know if we don't, it is definitely a road to destruction because our relationship is built on emotional attachment, physical intimacy and alot of inner issues in us, basically an unhealthy n ungodly relationship. However, it is easier said than done. I really do not know how can I survive through this, how can i really live without him? He is almost my everything, he is always there for me when I needed someone, he knows my flaws and bad habit and is willing to face it with me. I not only need to face the consequences now without him, and also the consequences of hiding this relationship from the church, like the guilt that I am having for making immature decisions. It seems perfect as a relationship of the world but not in the eyes of God. Both of us are each other's obstacles in building up our relationship with God. I will be having a hard time to deal with the issues that has been with me ever since don't know when and I really need God's healing in this. Thoughts like my family doesn't care, no one loves me, finding someone to feel the void in my heart (basically issues of the heart) is somethings that i've been battling with since don't know when. I know only God can heal me and it will take a long process to be healed. However, I do not know what is the future for me and in the midst of struggling to change a new job and the break up is something so overwhelming when i think of it now.