What will happen after a clean break? I don't even know what I will become and how can I survive through this. The fear and struggle, I'm afraid that I cant cope with it. It is so disheartening when I think of my future, what if I am waiting for years and ended up nothing? Will I formed a family that I once hoped and waited for? All these leads to uncertainty. Is easier to be said than done. After all, I still cant let go. How long will i suffer to get out and through this? I just want to avoid all these people including him because I can't afford to smile and put up a brave front in front of them, as if nothing has happened. I am really very very tired of doing it. I really don't want to go for tomorrow's celebration dinner, because I am depressed and I am tired of not being myself whenever I am sad.
Wishing you all the best to a brighter future ahead.
You are afraid that you can't find someone like me, don't worry, you are young and you will eventually meet many new people in the next few years of your life until you become like me now. The reality is that you still have lots of time compared to me. I should be the mature one to initiate in taking a step back from this relationship and to see where God is leading me as I am not that young anymore. I can't afford to live for the moment anymore.
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