How can I prove that I am not that brave?

I tried and failed again and again, to the extend that having suicidal thoughts seems to be very normal to me. I hear people telling me I am braver, stronger, so is easier for me to give up, easier for me to stop and move on, easier for me to be cruel at this point. Seriously, I just want to tell these people that I can just die right now to show you guys how weak I am and to just stop from telling me all these and hearing things like as if it was me that caused everything to happened and I am the only one that can stop it from happening. Now I don't even care if I disappoint anyone or not because I'm afraid if I really think about it, I may really want to kill myself. No need these people to remind me how bad the situation I am in now, how I am destroying someone else's life, I myself know better than anyone. If I am strong enough, I will not be where I am now, having condemning thoughts. If I am brave enough, I would have already shared to people my thoughts and what I am going through. If i can give up, I would not have failed again and again, making both suffer instead. Stop telling me what to do when you guys don't even know what I'm going through and how I am feeling. I am not like anyone of you.