Went to work as per normal, everything goes on as per normal. Then all of a sudden, I started tearing, trying to stop it. Then it goes on for a good 5-10 mins, felt better and the cycle repeats wherever I go, be it in the lab or during meetings, times when there is a chance that my mind is empty. So mentally tiring and also trying to put up a brave front as if nothing is wrong with me. There are people who might know what I am going through at the moment, but they do not know how I am going through it. It is not that I didn't open up, I tried. However, there were times that my emotions and feelings were stronger than my convictions, I ended up making wrong decisions. I failed to follow the solutions that were offered. I shared and what I got from people were blaming, getting said, things like oh why you do this, oh you deserve this, stop giving hope to people, you are not helping by doing this etc... I felt even worst by sharing, being open, not even helping me at all. I might as well just help myself using Godly methods. All I need is someone that can understand how I am feeling and be able to empathize with even if i fail at times, someone who can be in my shoes.
No comments:
Post a Comment